Our authenticity is found hidden in the small details of our daily round -
home, family, work and pleasures.
- Something more ?Small thing forgotten?
Susan Jeffers mentions in her book ?Dare to Connect? something called
?Everybody training? instead of ?somebody training?. The majority of
people are programmed from a young age that we must be a ?somebody?
we seek out to be accepted by others including acceptance from friends,
family, the church, groups, the society, the nation and the world. We
climb to the top of the ?work ladder? go away on holidays and spend our
money on luxuries goods. Most of us jump on the treadmill of more,
better, best without actually ever realizing who we are. We put our mask
on, and ?act? as people want us to act. Eventually our authentic self
becomes hidden and our ego self is absorbed and acted out daily, this is
?somebody training?.
We have to realize that a lot of people are walking around acting out
what people want them to be. (I know from experience that most people
would rather connect with a genuine less than saintly human, not a fake
robotic person. They would rather them be themselves and have aninteraction that has the human touch of less than perfect. Accepting
each other as they are; flaws and all.)
Under the surface of the ?mask? that many of us are wearing we are
being held back by loneliness, isolation, and lack of self-esteem. We need
to realize what mask we are wearing, once we can identify our mask we
can learn to change our behaviours when we simultaneously try to
impress others hoping for acceptance we neglect our authenticity of who
we are as humans and as unique individual beings.
Psychiatrist W.W Broadbent identifies a few mask that people wear.
? Man?s man style (I am absolutely fearless.)
? Saint style (Aren?t I sweet, smiling, loving and accepting?)
? Windy style (Aren?t I wonderfully articulate?)
? Chameleon style ( Ill be anything you want me to be)
? Moralizer style (I am virtuous and righteous and I always do what I
should do?and so should you!)
? Frightened-fawn-in-the-forest style (I am weak and need you to
take care of me)
? Martyr style (Oh, what I have done for you and get nothing in
return.)
? Super-self-sufficient style (I don?t you, I don?t need anyone.)
? Playing authentic style (Look how honest and forthright and
authentic I am.)
? Toilet-bowl syndrome (Poor, poor me. The whole world is shitting
on me.)
? Red Cross nurse style (Can?t you see how giving and nurturing I
am?)
? Guru style (Look how wise I am)
? One-upman style (See how cleverly I can put anyone down)
? Fan style (Whatever you do, it is great!)
? Nice-guy style (How could you help but like such a charming,
sweet guy as I am?)
? Dig me style (Don?t I entertain and amuse you?)
EXERCISE:
Can you identify your personal mask you use to cover up your authentic
self around people?
Can you list five people that you believe wear any of the above mask.
Person Mask
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
How does it make you feel when others cover up who they really are?
Why do you think they cover up their authentic self?
Can you recall a time when you covered up who you really were in
order to be a ?somebody?? How did this make you feel?
Can you recall a time where you felt like you were a ?everybody?? How
did this make you feel?
LIFE WORKS ASSIGNMENT:Observe this week who you are most prone to cover up your authentic self around? And why you cover up your authentic self around this person?
1. Is this necessary?
2. How did this make you feel?
3. How can you be more of your authentic self around this person?
