Last October I awoke one morning to discover I couldn't walk. Too many hours sitting moved a disc out of place. I had been building up to this, but ignored all the signs. Imagine a bucket of acid being poured down your leg. That's how it felt. My husband, Bill bought me crutches so I could at least get from the bed to the bathroom. Days and weeks went by and the pain wouldn't go away. All I could do was stay in bed and ponder the purpose of this injury.
My excursions are to the chiropractor, the MRI lab, the Neurologist, the Acupuncturist. Driving hurts, walking hurts, sitting hurts... At least when I lay flat the pain is tolerable...sort of. I pop Arthritis Extra- Strength Pain Relief medication a few times a day. I eat cookies in the afternoons. I drink wine at night. I gain twenty pounds in less than 3 months. My clothes don't fit. I'm depressed.
Wallowing in bed- letting life unravel like an old sweater gets boring. Diversions are absolutely necessary. I bought a laptop and an Ipod. I window-shopped on Ebay. I bought used books on Amazon. I listened to my CD's. I downloaded tons of music. I re-read all of Swami Muktananda's books. I learned to meditate lying down, without falling to sleep. I wrote out prayers. I wrote out affirmations. I reviewed what I'd been doing preceding the back trauma.
On a deep soul level I had been floundering. Having done the same work for more than 20 years, I was searching for something new to do with my life. Before my back blew out, I had been trying to reshape my life in a way that, in retrospect, wasn't appropriate for me.
I made small attempts to re-vision my life. I set up a notebook with categories, Personal, Spiritual, Work, and began searching my heart for what I wanted in my life. These were not goals, but rather deep intentions of my heart. In time a new Blueprint for Living emerged.
There is something magical about articulating your most authentic needs and desires. When you take the time to hone in on what you want, when it's all clear and spelled out, new energies are set in motion and your world begins to re-organize around your intentions. It's not an easy process, because if you're down and out, there's a huge chasm between where you are, and where you want to be. However, it initiates a transformative force that begins to draw in what you want to you.
Creating a blueprint for your life sets healing energy in motion. I'm still healing, but have fallen back in love with my work. New ideas are flooding in along with people to make them happen. It's all very exciting.
I learned, again, that the purpose of pain is to teach us something we have either been avoiding, or inadvertently overlooked along the way. I remember every time in my life I went through extreme suffering I emerged with new energy, focus, ideas and knowledge. I remember that it's the sand in the oyster that makes a pearl.
To learn more about Kelly Howell ....
If you're in a healing crisis....
Healing Meditation http://www.brainsync.com/brain.asp?id=4&title=Healing-Meditation
Founder and president of Brain Sync (http://www.brainsync.com), Kelly Howell is internationally acclaimed for her pioneering work in mind expansion. The author of over 60 best-selling audio programs, Kelly is the creator of Brain Sync's Brain Wave Audio Technology. "Kelly Howell is a masterful guide in helping to integrate body, mind, and spirit. In an age where life is becoming increasingly hectic, her instruction is invaluable." ? Larry Dossey, MD, Author: THE EXTRAORDINARY HEALING POWER OF ORDINARY THINGSEminent scientists and medical professionals ? such as Harvard-trained neurosurgeon Norman Shealy, MD, PhD have used programs developed by Kelly in their professional practices. Her 20 years of research into spiritual practices and meditation, combined with her work with physicians and biofeedback therapists, have enabled Brain Sync to refine its extraordinary audio technology into the exceptionally powerful, life-enhancing audio programs so many have come to rely on. | |
