The reason EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) (see resource box below) can be very effective for making rapid change in your life is because they address the real issue. There is no endless analysis and trying to figure out why you do something or why something happens. Why ask why? It doesn't matter why. If you have an issue, you have an issue. The why is not important.
Uncovering the why isn't going to solve anything, in fact, the endless seeking of answers allows us to excuse bad behavior in ourselves and others. Coming up with reasons why rarely works because the tendency never to be convinced begins, "Are you sure? Maybe it's something else?" and off we go on another snipe hunt. (The snipe is a made-up thing children often are tricked into on a snipe hunt (snipe hunting is a children's game where the unsuspecting child is told to seek something that the other's know doesn't really exist).
Why We Need To Know Why
If you were hurt by the actions of another you may believe you'll never get past it without knowing why. That's not true. The other person may not know why, so how can you? You may think with a why you could then explain the bad behavior away, but there is no justifiable reason for being treated poorly. None. Someone else's personal problems does not give them the right to treat others badly. Asking why may seem to ease the emotional upset but it's an exercise in futility. You'll never know for sure, and it begins the endless cycle trying to answer unanswerable questions.
Why doesn't matter. Start working on the here and now. Stop asking WHY, and start asking HOW or WHAT.
How can I make things better for myself and my family? How can I feel better? How can I bring myself back to better health? What can I do today that will bring me closer to my goal?
How and why questions give your subconscious mind something to work with. It's a bit like a puzzle and the subconscious mind loves puzzles. When a good idea pops into your mind it's your subconscious presenting an idea in answer to your earlier "how" or "what" question. Your subconscious will help when you give it better questions.
Changing the How: Asking Better Questions
Think of at least three How or Why questions, and write them down. Questions you may have previously been asking as Why questions, and when you catch yourself saying why, change it to how or what:
"Why am I fat" becomes, "What can I do differently to lose 10 pounds?"
"Why can't I lose this weight," becomes, "How can I adjust my patterns to support losing the weight I want?"
Why questions can only be answered with further evidence that you can't or don't think you can. In other words, asking yourself why questions causes your brain to try to come up with answers or evidence to prove why.
If you ask, "Why can't I lose any weight?" your brain will helpfully put tempting foods, party plans, magazine covers with food, invitations out, etc. in front of you all day long. It's providing you answers of exactly why. That's not what you want. You want ideas for what to do differently (what questions are good too) or how to change. Ask how, what, where or even when, but leave why alone.
Read these aloud and see what you think. If this makes sense to you, try it. If you think it's the darndest dumb thing you've ever heard, take a pass. You're free to take the ideas you like and put them to use and toss the rest aside. That's the fun of designing an eating style that works for you and helps you support your goals.
"I'll never be able to stop eating ..." (not helpful thinking) becomes "How can I start eating better?"
"I hate my thighs" becomes "What exercises can I try to change my legs?"
"Even if I lose this weight, I'll never be able to keep it off." becomes "What can I do differently this time?"
Start asking better questions and you're bound to start getting better answers.
