During the last years the standard of female beauty is a female figure, on the parameters coming nearer to teenager. We were inspired, that female forms are not considered beautiful at all, and some almost unisex image, only a hint on the further transformation of the girl into the woman can be attractive. But if you are already mature woman with real female forms, it is very difficult "to adjust" yourselves under a teenage ideal. This attempt initially can?t come true. And this failure entails even greater unsatisfaction with self which becomes chronic. Some years of such permanent condition of disappointment in itself and hopelessness, - and depression concerning own appearance is provided.
The only ideal for all the centuries of female appeal is the female individuality! Each woman is unique, her advantages conclude not the following ?the standard of beauty? which as we see, is whimsical and changeable, but her special personal appeal. The other thing is, whether we are able to accept our individuality, to be proud of it.
But let?s return to ?the pessimistic woman?. People often don?t think her attractive: an extinct sight, the uncertain gait, the stooped shoulders. All her appearance as if cries: ?I am ugly?. And people willingly read out these signals and trust them. Certainly you know that we receive 80 % of the information of a stranger from the nonverbal signals (the look, the pose, the voice, the manner to move and so forth). There are no ugly women; there are such who consider so!
And one more characteristic feature of ?pessimistic women?. They trust that having achieved the "ideal" appearance, they become happy at once: both character becomes softer, and behaviour more confident, and the pleasure from the life appears, and friends are met more often, relations with men develop not as earlier, the clothes are more fashionable, and the career goes much faster ? Alas, nothing will happen. And the present situation is the result not of the appearance but of your attitude to it. Speaking the language of psychology the internal problem is taken outside and, thus, certainly, is not solved.
The situation with the appearance of ?optimistic woman? is absolutely different.
Do you think they are rescued with the illusion of own unearthly beauty? Nothing similar! They really estimate either advantageous feature of the appearance and that which leave much to be desired. Everything is bound with the accents. And ?optimistical woman? accentuate the advantages. She is able to emphasize the features of the appearance which are really advantageous. They do not complain that they are ugly, they create the appeal. And people really consider them charming and attractive. Here we have a precise dependence: the more positive self-perception of appearance is, the steadier the self-estimation is, the steadier the self-estimation is, the less we depend on opinion of the people, and the less we depend on the opinion of the people, the more self-assured we look, and the more self-assured we look, the more attractive we are in the opinion of the people. The logic is very simple!
Every possible "defects" of appearance may poison women?s life only if they get under influence of those or other complexes. Optimistical or pessimistic intention in the attitude to the appearance is that real force which makes the woman beautiful or ugly.
