The best way to deal with one partner changing his or her mind about having children is to deal with the question of children very consciously and quite early in the relationship, so that if the relationship progresses to marriage, both parties have a very responsible, conscious, perhaps years-long commitment to their agreement concerning children.
Before getting into a committed relationship, marriage, or even before becoming sexual, I believe women who definitely want both marriage and children (eventually) should firmly establish that their men also definitely want both marriage and children (eventually). This joint desire for children should be well-established by the time of engagement and should be re-tested and recommitted to during the engagement period. Further, the intention should be a part of the personalized wedding vows.
After all of this joint agreement about marriage and children, if one partner changes his or her mind, that person should know that, due to the honestly and often expressed desire of the partner, there is a very good chance, the relationship will end due to the critical importance of the now very different life style choices. Avoid this heartbreak by being conscious, honest, and assertive early (even before the first sex) in the relationship.
What would you do when your partner in a married (or committed relationship) changes his/her mind on having a child?
Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, from Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for dating, sexuality, and relationship tips and secrets? Visit her website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com | |
