I've been thinking a lot lately about how we, as women, sabotage and
undermine our best efforts to become all that we're capable of being.
I think that one of the most powerful ways that we do a number on
ourselves is by procrastinating. What exactly is procrastination and
how do we use it to sabotage ourselves over and over again?
Well, let's start with a definition. I just did a websearch for the
word "procrastination" and found the following definitions:
"To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness. To postpone or delay needlessly."
I tend to agree with the first part (i.e., putting off doing something
or postponing, etc.), but disagree with the second part (i.e., out of
habitual carelessness or laziness). I've worked with enough women to
know that the majority of us are neither habitually careless or lazy!
My Goddess...I only wish I could be more careless and lazy! Don't you?
I find that most of us are so busy trying to do so much and trying to
do it all so well, that if we end up putting something off, it's
usually because we're so burned out from everything else we're trying
to do and we can't face that 'one last thing' on our ever-expanding "TO
DO" list!
I think that we end up procrastinating many things in order to actually
take care of ourselves. Unfortunately, however, I often see women
putting off the exact things that would be the most beneficial to them
(I'm guessing that you, too, have skipped your exercise class in order
to sleep in for an extra hour). How can we learn to not put off those
things that give us the most peace, relaxation, and sense of
accomplishment? By putting them at the TOP of our list!
Here's something that I use and share with clients with great success.
Write up your regular "to do" list for the coming day and include in it one major self-care activity (yes- ONE A DAY!). Examples can be: go to the gym, get a haircut, have a bubble bath, watch a funny movie, etc.)
The possibilities are endless! Then prioritize the items, making sure
that one self-care activity is one of your 'top three' priorities
for the day. (I can hear you screaming, "I can't! I could never do
that!" ) and blah, blah, blah. I'm choosing to ignore your protests
and you should too. Just try it for one week and see if you don't feel a whole lot better...
Then you can try procrastinating stuff that really can wait (i.e.,
washing the car, reading over your insurance policies, etc.) and
practise making yourself your priority! And yes, even women with
children can do this successfully. In fact, kids benefit greatly by
learning that mom also has a life and deserves good things (it's called
"modelling behavior" and it's definitely something you want to teach
your kids). Were we taught self-care growing up? Not many of us were
for sure... Why not teach your kids by modelling self-care behavior?
They'll thank you later!
And lastly, when you stop procrastinating YOU; you're not being
"selfish": everyone around you benefits when you're happy, healthy, and
calm.
What are you going to do for yourself today?
I've gotta go- my meditation cushion is waiting!
